Sunday, 26 February 2012

I’ll hunt across 3 shelves in a supermarket to save 30p, but when it comes to Council Tax...




I don’t get my Council Tax.

I don’t understand where it goes and who makes it up, or - the important bit - how they work out how to increase it.

None of it.

I’ll hunt across three shelves in the supermarket to save 30p, but when the Council Tax comes round... Here - have my bank account details. Sure - help yourself. What’s it for? Bins and stuff? Yeah - grand’s too little, go on... call it twelve hundred.

EQUALS= council tax increases


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Sunday, 19 February 2012

I’m in a long-term relationship. We’ve gone through three loo seats.




I’m in a long-term relationship.

We’ve gone through three loo seats.

(this is not one of them).




Having to change a toilet seat.

Is probably the worst DIY job in the house.

(this is not me doing it).


Perhaps you could get out of it by painting your partner's face on the underside of the lid, as a romantic gesture, so you can see them when you lift it.

And painting their outstretched hands on the seat so you are "sitting in their arms".

Maybe the seat would get changed.



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Sunday, 12 February 2012

10 More new band names. I am better at this than Simon Cowell.



The complete list of my new band names is here.

Here's the next installment.


Breakfast Show Clearout

Flawed Testing Regime

Frappucino Headache

Billion Dollar Cloud

Cup of Box

aircraft bassinet

Anti-Psychotic Medication

Summer Enhancement

Emergency Pay Rise

Self-Loathing Paycheck


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Tuesday, 7 February 2012

Here is a list of words meaning "great". Got any others?




Here is a list of words meaning "great".
A1
Ace
Award-winning
Awesome
Ballistic
Bees Knees
Bitchin’
Bodacious
Bonzer
Booming
Boss
Bostin'
Brilliant (Brill, Bril, Brillo)
Classic
Colossal
Cool (Cool Beans, Cool Banana, Coolamundo etc)
Cosmic
Crucial
Dandy
Dynamite
Ecstatic
Epic
Excellent
Extravagant
Fabulous
Fab
Fandabbydozy (or Fandabbiedozie)
Fantastic
Far Out
Formidable
Formidable (in a French accent)
Gorgeous
Grande (in a Spanish accent)
Gravy
Great
Groovy
Huge
Incredible
Invincible
Jazzed
Jolly good
Juiced
Killer
Magic
Marvellous
Mint
Monumental
Neat
Nice
Outrageous
Perfect
Phenomenal
Priceless
Rad
Safe
Skill
Smashing
Soaring
Solid
Sorted
Sound
Spectacular
Spiffing
Splendid
Station
Stoked
Stunning
Stupendous
Sublime
Superlative
Super
Sweet
Terrific
Tremendous
Tidy
Turbo-charged
Unstoppable
Wicked
Wonderful
100% Beef Sausage


Got any others? CLICK ON COMMENTS BELOW!



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Sunday, 5 February 2012

Why don't we have Metric Boobs in the UK?

(pic from Sophia Jenna's awesome blog)


Metric Boobs

Why in the UK do we measure breasts in Imperial?

I think it's because centimetres gives you a bigger number.

Measuring Boobs in inches is more... demure.

36D sounds more, manageable, than 91D.

(Which is what it would be in metric.)


Though, if you wanted to be modest, we could do chests in feet.

Three foot sounds, you know, proper.



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